Left me without a goodbye.
Mhmm. . . That was fine. I know we
ended a long time back without an official one.
But on that one fine night, when it hit me that I will never see you again,
it left me in a mess.
I didn’t know how to react to it.
We were nothing yet something for me.
Your leaving hit me like a punch on a dark cold night,
which hurt the already writhing,
the already fucked up,
the already drowning me.
I wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear for I didn’t know how to handle it.
I hated that obviously.
In the past few months, I have seen me the
way I don’t wish to.
I was not fine. When I knew you were already gone and I didn’t get to see you
one last time, how could I be anyway?
I felt this water flowing down my cheeks
As I stared at your text.
I am not supposed to feel this way, they say.
But even when a friend leaves
without a last goodbye, it hurts.
And then you were way more
than just a friend to me.
‘Just one last time’ my lips whispered as I closed my eyes to the restless night.
Guess, God loves me too much.
Now I have a chance to say my Goodbyes, but
I wonder what I would say to you?
Would I ask you to stop?
Or would I not, knowing that the answer would be no of course?
Would I tell you that I already miss you?
Or would I not, knowing we are not the same anymore?
Would I wrap my arms around you?
Or would I wait for you to trap me in yours like always?
Would I cry again as I see you leaving with your luggage,
leaving behind your memories,
our moments, the ‘never-existing’ us,
Would I wish you luck for your future?
Or would I want you to keep the past, me in your future?
Would I want you to tell me that You’ll miss me?
Or would I try to listen to your ‘never meant’ words again?
Would I give you a kiss?
Or would I let you know the same through my eyes?
Tonight’s going to be a long night.
For I don’t know how to let you go without wanting to hold you.
I just know this is my last chance.
Last chance to say my goodbye.
DATED :- 31/07/2017